The Future Beckons
by Jillcb
Summary: This is set after Arthur's death. Gwen has to continue on alone, and it is about her relationship with Leon in particular and the decision she has to reach for the good of Camelot.


**"The Future Beckons" **

There was a distinct change in the direction of the breeze, autumn was definitely on its way. As if aware it seemed that all of a sudden the pace of life had picked up, outside in the lower town. People were rushing about as if racing against some imaginary clock. As Gwen stood in the throne room, looking out she sensed it too. She had been Queen of Camelot for two years now, and some how it had flown by. It frightened her at times, just how little she remembered of her time as ruler.

She had her own routine that she stuck to resolutely, and so far it had served her well. Yet for all that, not even she could deny there where problems on the near horizon, not least the fact that she had no heir to succeed her.

She sighed, briefly she had entertained the notion that she was pregnant, shortly after hearing of Arthur's passing. She had allowed it to become the one consolation in his tragic death. But soon after the King's funeral she had found that, that too was a mirage, and that evening she had almost lost herself to her grief. Like she was grieving for Arthur all over again, it had been her hardest challenge to overcome.

But overcome it she had, like she always overcame things. Hadn't she been brought up to believe that being indulgent was being selfish. That after all was what got her through so much. Losing her father, her brother Elyan and finally Arthur. Gwen knew the people where relying on her, to set the tone for Camelot, she knew she could not possibly fail, or else everything Camelot had been would be for nothing. Yet there were moments, such lonely moments that would some times leave her almost breathless with terror, like a bottomless pit which sucked the life and enthusaim out of her. Those times she would struggle more than she could ever admit to herself, never mind anyone else.

She still had a close team round her, and they where a god send. Led by Sir Leon, who continued to be her most loyal of friends and servants. Gaius was still there, but in truth he was fading fast now. Not helped by the fact that Merlin had still not been in touch.

Poor Gaius fretted like a father who had lost his young son. Gwen at times wondered if he was being entirely honest, for at times he would assure her he was near. But if he hadn't been in touch, how could he know that, she wondered? There were times when she envied Merlin. She just wished that she too could off gone away and not have to come back. But fate had decreed that she was the one of who was left to lead Camelot into the new age, but the threat of failure was an ever present companion to her.

Her constant meetings with the lords of the court where now becoming long, tiresome drawn out affairs, that mainly had one subject. Namely the lack of a successor, she knew the pressure was on and sooner or later she would have to entertain the idea of having a suitor for herself.

One meeting in particular had almost ended in blows. Lord Agnew was a man who liked to make a point. Lately his points where becoming ever more personal and stinging. As ever it was over the fact that Camelot was vulnerable, as Gwen was both on her own and with no heir. At times Gwen felt, he was almost enjoying the points he would continually make, over and over again. How many time does he want to twist the knife, she would ask herself, finding her nerves where on the end of an emotional whirlwind.

"Of course I take your point Lord Agnew." She assured him, trying to sound as sincere as she could.

"With respect my lady I wonder if you do. We have had so many meetings about this, and still nothing has been done. In the meantime we are a sitting target for who ever fancies wearing our crown."

"I can assure you your points are being noted, and I realise I will have to consider certain arrangements." Gwen said realising her voice was suddenly higher than usual.

"I sincerely hope that is true, my lady. As I don't like to say, you are not getting any younger."

As he said the sentence Gwen felt it go through her heart, and for a second to her horror she could feel tears settle in her eyes.

"How dare you say that." Sir Leon was on his feet, anger blazing in his eyes. "I demand you take that back my Lord."

Suddenly there was a tension in the air, that Gwen realised she needed to control.

"Sir Leon please, it is alright. Lord Angew has a right to make the point. I would like to assure every one that I realise this has to be faced. I can assure everyone I will give serious thought to it. Now is there anything else, that we need to talk about?" she asked, suddenly feeling stronger.

She noticed her taking charge had suddenly released the tension around the table, she had the support of the rest of the Lords, and she nodded to them in reply.

Sir Leon got up to close the meeting ending with a big shout of Long Live the Queen.

Gwen requested that Sir Leon stay behind after everyone had left. Even though everyone had left the throne room, it was clear that he was still fuming from Lord Agnew's comment.

"The man is an ass, my lady how you kept your calm with him I just don't know."

Gwen smiled at him kindly, "Because I have to, and sadly Leon we have to face the fact that he is actually right in what he says. As long as I'm on my own Camelot will be vulnerable, without an heir I am putting the Kingdom in grave peril."

"My Lady." Sir Leon attempted to argue "you are a great ruler the people of Camelot love you, you are one of them after all. They will stay loyal to you."

"You maybe right about that Leon, but it doesn't alter the fact that Camelot will need someone to succeed me, once I'm gone. As Lord Agnew pointed out, time will not be on my side, if I delay any longer. So I have to do something about it."  
After Sir Leon had gone, Gwen sat at her desk attempting to write down available suitors she knew to still be available. Ten minutes later she looked at the two names and suddenly realised neither filled her with any great delight. She suddenly found herself comparing the two of them to Arthur, and all of a sudden the idea of marrying either, left her in a emotional trauma. No, pull yourself together, she thought angrily to herself. I don't matter in this, it is Camelot which is the most important consideration, not me.

Having deciding on the two names, she turned in for the night. She put on her favourite nightgown, the one Arthur had had made especially from the beautiful imported silk for her. Before she put it on, she ran her fingers over it, trying hard to still imagine Arthur's face. Suddenly tears coursed down her cheeks, as she realised it was getting ever harder to remember his handsome features. She had always imagined that some how she would always remember him in some way. But now it was getting harder and harder to do so, and once she was married to someone else, would that mean she would forget him entirely. The idea appalled her, and that night she cried herself to sleep, grateful that no one else could witness it.

When she awoke next morning, her eyes where still sore from her crying of the night before, and her head ached so much, that she had to lie back still for a few moments. After the feeling had passed she bathed and got herself ready for another day. As she was brushing her hair, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." she called, turning around as she said it.

"My Lady, we have some reports of manoeuvres on our borders again." Sir Leon announced.

"Again?" Gwen mused, "That is three times this year alone Leon. Why?" she asked suddenly feeling despair.

"There is no reason to think this will be any different from last time. I would guess they are just testing us. "

"They are testing us because they feel Camelot is weak. We both know that Leon." Gwen said. She put her hand over her eyes, suddenly feeling weary.

"My Lady I can assure nothing will happen. I'm sure of it, I would not say so otherwise. You know that you will always have my support, like you've always had."

Gwen took hold of Leon's hand. "I don't know what I'd of done without you, these last two years." She said, suddenly she blushed as she realised she was still holding his hand. "Sorry I'm –"

"We go back a long way, do we not." Leon asked a soft smile on his face.

"We do indeed. You were always the vain of my life, when I was younger." She smiled.

"You were always so serious, so eager to please." He laughed  
"I was the mother of my family, even when I was eight years old." She smiled remembering. "You never had a care in the world, every thing at your beck and call."

"True, my lady I suppose I must have been a bit arrogant to you back then."

"Never arrogant, but I did so want to beat you at some thing."

They both laughed.

"I'd better go my lady." Leon headed for the door. Suddenly Gwen called him back, she had an idea, an idea so obvious she wondered why it had not occurred to her before. But how to say it, she thought to herself.

"I'm going to propose something. "Gwen cursed herself why did she use the word "propose" she thought to herself in anger. "I don't know quite how to say it."

"You know there is nothing you can't say to me." Leon smiled. "would it help if I sat down?" he suggested.

"Yes why not." Gwen said suddenly struggling for words. "Like you said Leon we've known each other for so long, we're totally comfortable with each other. I think, do you agree?"

"Why yes." Leon agreed suddenly wondering where the conversation was going.

"There is no skirting around the issue, I'm going to come out and say it." She said.

"Right." Leon said.

"All this time I've been looking for someone outside of Camelot, and all the time there is a much better candidate right by my side. I mean you Leon, you would be ideal. Few people know Camelot better, the people would love you, we know each other well."

"Sorry." Leon said.

To Gwen's embarrassment she realised he still hadn't understood what she was suggesting.

"I mean marriage, to me." It came out all of a rush, and Gwen sighed realising she had made a total fool of herself in truth. When do men ever guess such things correctly she sighed, suddenly remembering Arthur, and how many times he would misunderstand subtle things.

"If you think it's a bad idea, just say. I mean I won't hold it against you, it was just an idea after all." Gwen realised she was suddenly babbling on some what. All of a sudden she felt as if she was an awkward teenager again, and cursed her own stupidity.

There was silence in the room for a moment before Leon slowly got up.

"Of course I'm honoured that you would suggest this of me. But would the council accept me?"

"Why not Leon you're a knight, you are from aristocracy. Both points that win favours with the Lords. You have represented Camelot with honour throughout your life. I can hardly think of anyone better."

"Thank you my lady. It is indeed an honour."

"There is something else?" she asked

"This is like an arranged marriage?" he asked his face suddenly blushing.

Gwen smiled. "We both know I need to marry and to have an heir if possible. I am fond of you Leon."

"As I am of you." Leon smiled shyly

"Then I would say we are already ahead of an arranged marriage. Don't you think? My feelings for Arthur will never change Leon I will always love him. But that won't help me in my present situation. In choosing you I know you will support me in continuing his work in this Kingdom. Maybe down the line we will both find love, who can say. But I would rather try with a dear friend, than a total stranger."

Leon regarded her for a second before holding out his hand.

"Indeed, than I best go and search for a ring." He smiled.

Gwen watched him leave the room, as the door closed behind him, she swore she could feel a breeze softly blow over her as she stood. Just for a second she thought she could feel her husband's presence over her. But suddenly it disappeared, and she was all alone again.


End file.
